Matthew, 5; Trevor, Elliana, 1; Stephanie and Stephen Shultz, 3.
(This is another installment in our ongoing series called “Unlimited: My Story.” Every other month, parents of a special needs child will share the impact that our Unlimited ministry has had on their family. Today, meet the Shultz family.)
The story of Matthew Shultz is a familiar one, especially for church-going parents who have children with developmental delays. As Matthew was nearing his 4th birthday, he still had not met some of the milestones required to be in the Crosstown classroom for 3-year-olds. His parents, Stephanie and Trevor, began to grow concerned.
“Thankfully, someone had told us to talk to Jenna Hannum because they had heard a rumor that the Unlimited ministry would be starting soon,” Stephanie said.
It did. And not long after, Matthew found a home in Unlimited, the name of Pathway’s special needs ministry. Today, at age 5, he is blossoming. The Shultz family is most grateful, and Stephanie has agreed to discuss the impact Unlimited has had on their lives.
What are some qualities that make Matthew so unique?
He is a big snuggler. He just loves to crawl up in people’s laps and give hugs. He does have a sense of humor, although it takes a while to find that spot. When he starts laughing, it is the cutest thing. He has such a sweet spirit. He doesn’t always show it, but he does love his siblings. He is also a huge help – always wanting to help clean up around the house, help me do the dishes, always asking to get “the stool.”
What are Matthew’s special needs?
He has autism, expressive and receptive communication disorder (though he has come a long way with this), other developmental delays and epilepsy with absence seizures.
What is God teaching you as a parent of a special needs child?
He is teaching me a lot of patience and a lot of grace. Sometimes Matthew will echo and script (a behavior of autism where the child will repeat sounds, words or phrases not pertaining to the conversation), and it can get kind of frustrating. So I need to remember to be gracious with him. God has not called each of us in the same way, so I can’t expect him to learn about God in the same way. The way the church is so open about us coming to God in all different ways and abilities — that has been really encouraging.
What does Pathway’s Unlimited ministry mean to your family?
It has been so helpful and encouraging to us. When Matthew switched from Crosstown to Unlimited, he started really looking forward to church. We love the events that help us connect with other parents of special needs children. The Respite events allow time for us to regroup as a couple, and that has been super helpful.
What does Matthew like most about Unlimited?
He loves that people are willing to hug on him! And I think it’s important that he knows he can be himself and be comfortable. If something is too much, he can take a break. He goes up those stairs in the children’s wing and just runs into the sensory room. They are so understanding up there. His epilepsy medication can make him so, so tired. They let him crawl up onto the bean bag and they put a blanket on him so he can rest.
How do you see Matthew evolving as a disciple of Jesus Christ?
He has been singing songs, and we have been working on verses at home. We see a difference, especially in the way he interacts with siblings. He might get aggressive sometimes, but we have seen a big change in how he feels afterward. He apologizes, and he hasn’t really done that before. He is realizing that what he does affects other people.
What do Unlimited Respite Nights means to your family life?
The Respite Nights are so important to our family. We don't have family that lives close to us, so getting time to ourselves is rare. The Respite Nights give us a chance to reconnect, re-engergize, and refocus, so that we can be the best parents for our kids. It is nice to have a quiet dinner and good conversation together. We always feel refreshed when we pick up the kids.
What do you wish people in the community knew about special needs?
I would like the community to remember to choose kindness. Kids don't develop and grow within the same time frame — even with similar abilities or disabilities. So, please choose kindness and offer help or encouragement when able.
What are your hopes and dreams for Matthew’s future?
I pray that he will continue to love the Lord and just let himself shine as he is, no matter what that is. It’s OK to make mistakes, but I just want him to do the best that he can and use the abilities that God has given him. He is who he is, and God made him this way, so we often tell him, “You were made for goodness.”
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What is a Respite Night?
Parents of children with special needs can leave their children — both those with and without special needs — at Pathway Church and enjoy an evening to themselves. Unlimited staff will provide fun activities for the kids, which will include a bounce house, Wii, a movie, a snack, and more. After you sign up, a member of the Unlimited staff will contact you to conduct a brief interview to ensure that we can provide the best care for your child. Our next Respite Night is set for 6-8pm this Friday, December 6, in the children’s wing at our Chippewa Campus. Can your child join us? Let us know by emailing Jenna Hannum.